Schadenfreude, sweet schadenfreude...
Karma's a bitch, ain't it? If a certain obnoxious coxcomb (two x-words in a row, folks!) is convicted in the death of a cyclist in Toronto last night, he'll be a bitch, too. As in somebody's...
I've said here for years that the threat to public safety in Ontario wasn't 'pit bulls', it was Michael J Bryant, the former Attorney General who banned short-haired, medium-sized dogs and eroded people's rights because he held some bizarre personal beliefs - or saw an opportunity to make a name for himself. He probably believed that bullshit about there being no bad publicity and didn't care if he was universally despised, as long as people were talking about him.
What a maroon. Well, they're talking about him now.
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A little background for out-of-province readers:
Bryant was demoted twice before finally leaving government this past June. He is a constitutional lawyer and law professor, so his first post as AG was the best job he could have had in the government. Next he was sent to Aboriginal Affairs which was still in his area of interest but it's a difficult post and his performance lacked lustre. He was next demoted to Industry, which is a glorified sales job that tries to attract business to Ontario. I think it's like what we used to call 'Special Project' when I worked at CIBC - a holding pen for the non-conformists and difficult to train. The last statements Bryant made while in the Industry portfolio were along the lines of "Vee vill deszide vich businesses vill suckszeed". The premier sure looked uncomfortable when talking to the newsies about those remarks. Boo effing hoo.
When he resigned in June, the story was that he would head up an agency devoted to increasing investment in Toronto but none of us were buying the hype at the time about it's being a great new opportunity for the little dick. Hell, it's only halfway through the current legislative mandate and given Bryant's love for media attention it seems pretty unlikely that he would make such a move on his own.
Nope, I and my equally cynical buddies figured that Chairman Dalton [McGuinty, premier of Ontario] sat Michael Jay down and made him an offer - the back bench when government reconvened in the Fall, or his resignation. My only question is how much did it cost - either in money or favours - to get Toronto's mayor David Miller to take Bryant? We'll never know, which is kind of sad but I'd bet hard cash that the honeymoon period between Bryant and Miller is long over.
My point?
McGuinty's former golden boy, now an outcast, must be under an awful lot of stress. That does funny things to one's judgement and sense of balance - not that Bryant was ever what you'd call a well-balanced individual, what with his ranting about 150-pound beasts and all.
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From witness statements made regarding the bizarre incident that resulted in a fatality and Bryant's being taken into custody last night and charged today, there should be no doubt in anybody's mind about who is a dangerous 150-pound beast and who isn't. Hint: the dangerous one doesn't wag his tail or greet everyone with a big welcoming grin and a slurpy kiss. Plus, he weighs nearer to 150 pounds.
It was amusing - when this story was reported for the zillionth time at noon today - to be reminded by the news-reader that Bryant recently brought in a street-racing bill to curb dangerous driving practices. I wonder if anyone at the cop shop did an impression for him of his infamous "Vee vill khrush yo caw" line that was widely mocked by his cult followers in the 'pit bull' underground. My friend Steve got such a kick out of it he was planning to get t-shirts made up to sell as a fundraiser for Banned Aid. We talked him out of it since a lot of people didn't then (and don't now) get it.
If you know the area of Toronto - Bloor Street between Church and Avenue Road -then you know how busy it is with vehicular and pedestrian traffic both day and night. It's a luxury shopping/fancy coffee/overpriced restaurant/see-and-be-seen type of district. According to one witness, the convertible Saab allegedly being driven by Mikey Bee was bombing down Bloor on the wrong side of the road, hitting poles and trees, seemingly trying to dislodge the cyclist who was clinging to the car.
Lori pointed out that if you use Google to find 'Michael Bryant, cyclist', there are over 260,000 hits.
That warms the cockles of me cold, dark, heart. I'm pretending that each of Toronto's estimated 250,000 dog owners represents one of those hits. I did say 'pretending'.
If Brytler is convicted (he's only accused at this point and fair is fair, even for the odious Bryant) and we can't tar and feather him and run him back to BC on a rail, can we at least have a dunking stool? Can we can we can we can we can we? Huh? Can we? With all proceeds to Banned Aid?
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For mainstream media articles, go to Google and look for Michael Bryant - there are lots of 'em. I see some dedicated yet unsung stickler for accuracy has already updated Bryant's page in Wikipedia to include last night's events. No, it wasn't me, I don't do that.
