It doesn't say 'pit bull' lobbyist:

Your personality type:

Creative, resourceful and intellectually quick. Good at a broad range of things. Enjoy debating issues and may be into 'one-up-manship'. They get very excited about new ideas and projects, but may neglect the more routine aspects of life. Generally outspoken and assertive. They enjoy people and are stimulating company. Excellent ability to understand concepts and apply logic to find solutions.

Careers that could fit you include:

Entrepreneurs, lawyers, psychologists, photographers, consultants, sales represenatives, actors, engineers, scientists, inventors, marketers, computer programmers, comedians, computer analysts, credit investigators, journalists, psychiatrists, public relations, designers, writers, artists, musicians, politicians.

It's the Myers-Briggs test.  Wanna try it? Go here.

h/t Spotted Dog Farm

Wow, the newsies are giving it their all this weekend!  Going the distance, trying to win the Extreme Hyperbole competition.

Check out this headline: 

'It just ripped my arm right out'

In the report, we learn that the victim of an unprovoked dog attack was worked over pretty badly.  The newspaper decided to let us all feast our eyes on what I believe is a picture of her trunk, complete with livid gashes.  It must hurt a lot and I wouldn't want to be in her place.

However, her arm was not ripped out.  She had a bite on her shoulder.

The real message (which we don't get until later), is that the owner had her obviously unsafe large dog chained up outside while she was inside.  He somehow got loose.  She didn't hear the screams of her neighbour.

If you have a dog that is hostile and inappropriately aggressive, why are you leaving him tied up outside without supervision?

*

In other news from Omaha, where the coneheads have been pushing for a ban, another gratuitous headline reads:

"Pit bull siezed [sic] after 2-year-old injured"

However, when we check the story, we discover that

The child was not seriously hurt and it was unclear whether he had been bitten or clipped by the dog's nails. The child did not need medical treatment for the injury to his right arm.

Some kind(s) of animal(s)

While rummaging through the trash checking my Google news reports, I came across a typically bizarre article from one of the tabloids for which the UK is famous.

The picture, above, is a classic example of the penny dreadful UK style which has a place in the hearts of fear-mongering newsies everywhere.  I'm not sure what it's supposed to be.  The muzzle appears to have been pasted on as a cone, the eyes could be from a makeup ad and check the shape of the head.  I'm positive that those teeth don't belong in that mouth.

Ah well, they're trying - very trying.

The shocking truth of Merseyside’s dog-biting epidemic was revealed today by a city surgeon.

Almost every day a youngster needs hospital treatment after being mauled by a dog.

Last year doctors at Alder Hey and Whiston hospitals treated 460 victims.

And they said numbers are rising.

Merseyside in Liverpool (ever been there?) had a population of 1,362,000 people according to the 2001 census.  The number of bites per year, roughly 460, is actually not bad with about 0.03 (3/100 of 1 percent) of the population having the bad luck to be bitten - severity not indicated, of course.  That means that 99.97% of the people of Merseyside were not bitten by a dog that year.  I'd hardly call that an epidemic.

Statistics show 89% of adult victims and 83% of children needed surgery.

Wow, sounds serious, alright - except 'surgery' can be as simple as one stitch or something more radical.  You don't think the report intends to be misleading, do you?

Today Alder Hey consultant plastic surgeon Christian Duncan blamed the popularity of “dangerous breeds” on Merseyside and irresponsible owners.

He said there had been a “massive increase” in the number of dogs being imported into Liverpool for fighting, resulting in more dangerous dogs on the city’s streets.

Those darned dangerous breeds really have to go.  They keep taking jobs the other dogs won't do, allowing themselves to be engaged by bottom-feeders to work as fighters or guards.  They should be replaced by breeds who won't stoop so low.  That will clean up the mean streets of Merseyside!

“Almost all the patients we saw were bitten by pit bulls or rottweilers. Unfortunately while we know that no dog is a safe dog as any dog can cause a human harm, it is the breeds you think it is that are attacking.

“And we have seen some horrific cases where one woman’s scalp was bitten off.

Almost all, eh?  Like 95%?  More?  I imagine the bites were reported that way but whether or not those were the dogs responsible, especially since as we all know the breed someone thinks it is is the one attacking, is anybody's guess.

Am I mistaken, or did the UK not ban 'pit bulls' in 1991?  Wasn't it a search, seize and destroy type of ban, except for those on the exemption list?  So, how old would those exempted 'pit bulls' be today - um, 17 or so at the youngest?  It's amazing that they are so spry and still have enough teeth with which to bite people.  Daily, even.

And we've seen some cases, plural, where one person's scalp was damaged.  Singular, plural, details, details.  Our readers won't get this far anyway and even if some do, they're unlikely to notice the mistake because by now we'll have them in a frothing state, ready to sharpen the pitchforks and light the torches.

Here's more of the same in case the message wasn't clear the first time.  Kudos to the UK on its pointless ban, that's some impressive piece of legislation, people.

“There is a massive increase in dog fighting and the number of criminals who will use a dog as a weapon.

“Alder Hey was involved in a documentary about how easy it was to buy a pit bull and it was shown that these dogs end up in the community.”

This next excerpt is horrible, but doesn't it kind of put the lie to the 'pit bull' and 'rottweiler' thing?

“I was involved in one case some time ago where a five-year-old girl was attacked by two bull mastiffs. They basically tore her apart. She had really bad injuries and was lucky to survive.”

 

 

Update:  KC Dog Blog weighs in:

"The attacks by pit bulls that we see in our hospitals are horrible....just like the ones we see from other breeds of dog. So we should ban pit bulls.. Oh, we already have. Well, it's not working because all those "hoodies" are still owning pit bulls and we can't do anything about it. It's still really easy to buy a pit bull, in spite of our ban, so we really need to do something about these dogs, like ban them or something. Dang, we already did that. But those cases are just horrible, like all those cases where the pit bulls mauled that one woman just like when the Mastiffs mauled that woman...we have to do something about those pit bulls."

Who put these people in charge anyway?